Decision, Discipline, Results

For as long as I can remember, I had always dreaded exercises. If I managed three sit-ups I’d be breathing like I just jogged for miles. It was that bad.

I always thanked God I wasn’t on the fat side and that I wasn’t an impulsive eater; I just eat because I have to. Well, except some foods I really really like, but I always don’t overeat because I find that I’ll not be able to move. So I save myself the headache of feeling bloated and needing exercise( I used to think exercising was just for losing weight but now I know better).

But something happened. Something that turned me into someone who worked out almost on a daily basis.

This is me three months after baby number 3. Still working on being healthy

The effects of childbirth or just plain indiscipline?

So I had my first child and didn’t add weight, great right? The second came and I still didn’t add weight. But months down the line, the unhealthy habit of sitting in the office from morning till night while munching on pastries and any interesting food I came across saw my weight sky-rocketing from 65kg to 70kg.

I didn’t even notice it at first till someone made a comment on how my backside was now more visible. What??? I almost fell over in shock.

SHORT STORY: Cursed, Sick And Deranged

Fred knew he was cursed. It wasn’t a secret to him. He accepted that phrase from anyone with glee.

It was almost laughable that people would expect a freaked out reaction from him. Heck, he knew he was cursed. He had to be. 

Everything that has happened in his 30 years of being in existence lent credence to that fact. 

He wondered why the hell God was in such a freaking bad mood the day he was created.

He was certain God in his annoyance, had given him as a pet project to Lucifer’s apprentice. 

That apprentice had put all the woes of the world into his diminutive self.

Not only was he created ugly, he was also short. The world often said that women wouldn’t care about appearance once a man had the cash. But there again, the wicked apprentice also blew him a curse. He was poorer than a church rat.

It wasn’t just right for someone to be this way.

**********************************

Life had played a huge joke on him. From the early mysterious death of his parents, to him being dumped on a family that had no love for him. His uncle and his family had treated him like a privileged outcast from the day he was brought to them.

He was barely one year old then. The fact that he stayed an extra one year before walking instilled further proof in his Uncle Amadi’s mind that he was indeed cursed. They often whispered that he killed his parents.

This fear also forced the family to train him properly against their wish.

Amadi and his family were dead scared that Fred Egwuonwu would harm them if they treated him badly, so while they distanced themselves from him, they made sure to provide him with all the necessities for school and life.

They shipped him off to boarding school and he got used to being with strangers.

How to sell anything using 'Guarantees'

Yes. I have been sold to that way. Many times.

I know folks who have been sold things to in the same ways. But it all became clear as day now.

Have you ever loaned someone N10, 000 (a high amount of money) just because when you loaned him N500 he paid back early without hassle?

I am sure you won’t think twice before buying something from someone who first gave you a trial of the product for free or offered you a guarantee before making a selling move on you.

Heck. Let’s get down to the familiar.

It is common knowledge that when you want to buy boiled groundnuts from hawkers anywhere in Nigeria, you take some first to taste. You believe doing that tells you if the groundnut is worth your hard-earned naira; even though it doesn’t cost much. But there’s something else you don’t know.

Her fight with the devil

By Chinwe J. Obinwanne

Mabel stared into the mirror. She couldn’t recognize the face that stared back. She didn’t know who the hell this person was.

This wasn’t the first time she was looking into a mirror. But this was the first time she saw a face unknown to her.

She lifted her brows in surprise. The strange face did the same.

Why was this person mimicking her?

She moved her hands over her face. It hurt. The strange face did the same. It then occurred to her that this was no stranger. This was her. Suddenly the events that caused her not to recognize her own face came pouring back.

SHORT STORY: The unspoken truth

By Chinwe J. Obinwanne

It could only be a mistake. It was surely just nature playing one of its biggest games. She stared closely at the image on her younger sister’s Facebook page and shrugged, a sad smile playing on her lips. Memories reminding her of the crazy but cruel twist that took her away from Nigeria a good six years ago. Reality gave her a resounding slap when she saw a birthmark on the face of that image on Sade’s Facebook wall. No, it wasn’t a mistake. This was him.

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Funke was over 5ft 9inches in height, quite tall for a woman; dark-skinned, had hazel shaped eyes that seemed to probe into a person’s soul when she looked into them, nose as pointed and defined as that of a Fulani lady; her lips were set in a pout and you could only imagine Angelina Jolie when you concentrated on her lips; she wasn’t exactly curvy but something about her build, face and eyes seemed to capture and hold the attention of men and women alike. She had an electrifying persona and seemed to make friends wherever she went. Men bent over backwards to do her bidding and she was well aware of the power she wielded over them.

“I don’t want to die” she cried

By Chinwe J. Obinwanne

It is scary. It is absolutely scary. The simple thought of having your loved one so sick, yet you are powerless in caring for them. The thought of running away from the very person you are supposed to be caring for in their very hour of need is nothing short of devastating.

Let’s turn the tables now, shall we? What of the thought that we could be dying and not be able to hold the hands of those we love or even see their faces to tell them how much we love them. To tell them we will miss them. Or even to tell them not to cry. It is the kind of death no one wishes for. Yet it is the death that many across West Africa are presently subjected to.

Ebola stole into this region like a thief in the night and started stealing people from their loved ones. This dreaded disease is such a killer that an absolutely normal person could turn to a corpse just within weeks of contracting it. It kills that fast.

Mothers have watched their children die and the heartache of watching as the child writhed in pain crying “I don’t want to die” had pushed many mothers to the arms of their babies. What did Ebola do? It sniggered at the apparent love and pain of the mother and simply sank its deadly fang inside of the mother.

SHORT STORY: Paid in full

By Chinwe J. Obinwanne

Sandra sighed as she took one last look at him. He looked peaceful, almost perfect.

She got up from the bed dragging the bed-sheet to cover her nakedness, and leaving Kazeem to the harsh cold air emanating from the Air conditioner. He wouldn’t mind that anyway, she thought as she headed for the bathroom.

As the water poured over her full breasts, sliding down to her wash-board flat belly and then moving on down to her womanness and then to her legs, she wondered silently where her life was headed. Her wonderings were interrupted by yet another thought. Kazeem. How innocent he looked in sleep. How crazy and wild he was in bed the previous night. How sore and spent he made her.

Thoughts that slowly faded away as she contemplated her next move. As she turned off the shower, she toweled her soft body dry and then moved to the wardrobe to get her clothes. She pulled on a jeans and tee shirt. She ought to be in a hurry but instead she took her time. She moved about lazily and then settled on a chair just opposite Kazeem’s face to apply her makeup. She chose red for her lips. Yes. That colour was perfect for her mood.

As the stick of lipstick found every corner of her lips filling them with its red hotness, the events of the precious day came to Sandra’s mind as if on replay. Events that sent a shudder down her spine - but in a fulfilling way.

Why a bad boss may be good for your career

There are a lot of things I have read and disputed. Some I felt were just the writer's opinion and others I actually agreed with. One of the most recent ones that got me sitting on the fence for a while before I chose a place to fall under after due consideration is this. How bad bosses can actually be good for your career.

I read that piece on Forbes website and decided not to take the writer's word for it. I went on to do my own serious thinking, dissecting every boss I had ever worked with over the past few years. You know what I discovered? I found that in one way or the other, they had played a major part in putting me where I am career wise and in the way I behave to my subordinates plus in where I aim to be at. The good ones, I emulated and the bad ones, they unconsiously taught me what NOT to do.

I once worked with a direct boss who literally frustrated me. I cringed at the thought of coming to work because of him. I did my work well and often times wondered why he always picked on me. He would laugh and tell me how it was his job to frustrate me and mine to do all the task and make him look good. I remember telling him once that because of him, I would work my a** off to get to the top and never have a boss like him again. Somewhere along the line, his cunning and bad ways were noticed and he got fired but, I am living up to that promise I made to him years ago. I am doing all I can to ensure his jaws drop when next he gets to meet me and see how well I have done for myself.

You see, when you work with a bad boss two things are involved. They can break you or spur you. Am I confusing you now? Well, let me explain.

Secrets to growing your business (1)

If our ancestors had foreseen this day when things would be super easy and super efficient with the advent of civilization and of course the internet, they probably would have fought the angels when they were being released into the world eons ago. Aren't you just glad to have been born in this era?

It is amazing what a lot of people have been able to accomplish with the internet. The people that once seemed unreachable can now be reached with just a click and those things we never thought possible are all becoming reality before our very eyes. Businesses have been able to spring forth from the internet and surviving by the many clicks from readers all over the world, many have made millions. Take popular blogger, Linda Ikeji for instance.

This young lady said once that the only job she has is her blog which pays her in a month what many would consider generous as an annual salary. and interesting enough, she does this from the comfort of wherever she is. the weapons she uses are so simple you'd scoff at its simplicity. With just a laptop and internet or even an internet enabled smartphone, she could post things that would generate clicks from even her toilet if she chooses. Her tricks: get content (whether written or multimedia) that will arouse curiosity or inform, post if on her blog, utilize the power of the social media platforms in sharing each post and let people do the re-tweeting and sharing. Before you know it, tens, hundreds and even thousand have viewed it and are talking about it.

This was and still is her strategy and over time, her blog visitors grew tremendously and with it revenue started pouring in. She made excellent use of the web analytic tools available to track visits to her blog, the gender of such visitors and from which country they came. You know why she sweated to do that? Let me explain.

My relationship with Joseph Sugarman

Yeah, it surprised me too. If  you know who this man is, you'll know it is a big deal to have a relationship with him.

You see, this all started from an encounter I had with the owner of www.startcopywriting.com, Jesse Forrest. I met this fellow virtually online when I listened to his YouTube video on how to go about the copy writing career.

Like I had said many times, I love stringing words together to sound musical to the ears; a craft I am yet to master. So imagine my surprise when I realized that I knew how to do something that could help grow businesses while loving what I do and making some bucks. I learned that from Jesse, who I choose to call by his first name despite having never met him.

After listening to Jesse talk about his journey into the intriguing world of copy writing some decade ago and how easy it could be for a dedicated writer to toe same path, I believed in my heart that all my years in writing and being in the Journalism world were all to prepare me for this. A time when I would think deep and hard and then allow my craziness and weird thoughts to pour out on paper in a bid to convince someone to part with their hard earned cash to purchase a product or service.

Ebola chases, we run

We are at risk. Every single one of us.

This risk even if it couldn't have been avoided, could have been prevented. This risk is the deadly Ebola virus that was imported by Late Liberian, Patrick Sawyer. A man that something in me strongly says came to this country with the sole intent of spreading the deadly virus. Why do I believe so? Well, let me explain.

Just last week, the Liberian government sent their apologies to Nigeria for their citizen who imported the virus to us. They also made known to us that Mr. Sawyer knew that he had the virus and so, avoided contact with people at the Liberian airport. Okay, let me analyse this in my own way before I proceed.

The return of the prodigal

I have been away for so long that you wouldn't be wrong to wonder if I had forgotten I owned a blog. Over one year and a few months? That's too long if you ask me.

Let me take a minute to fill you in on my life in these past months. This is by no means an excuse for going MIA though, I truly have no logical excuse and for that I plead for your forgiveness.

So, in July of 2013 I went on to welcome my daughter into the world. You see, I had prayed fervently for a girl to come and calm my always bubbly and excited son down; so you'd be guessing right now how much of a relief it was to see I had birthed a girl right? Well, I got my wish and with it something I wasn't prepared for.

I got a beautiful baby girl that had the strength of a boy and the worrisome tendencies of two boys rolled into one. As she grew, she started to exhibit her intelligence plus her eagerness to outshine her brother in noisy excitement. Then came three months after, I resumed work and everyday for the past eight months, I went to work with this little burst of energy. It wasn't easy, I kid you not. I had to do all of these, manage the magazine that I started as its founding Editor and take care of her brother and the homefront.

Right now, my little girl is a little over a year old and still bubbly; now more than ever and then I took one look at my blog and said to myself, " Shush Chinwe, get back on the horse and stop letting other things pull you away". Believe me,this is not the first time I have said that to myself. But this time, I meant it. It was like issuing a silent threat to myself. One that pulled me up from my seat and got me opening my laptop and typing apologetically away.

In these long months, I have also come to understand the power of words and the impact it can make in growing anything especially businesses and of course add additional earnings to my pocket. So with this in mind and after having more than one month to think about it, I enrolled for a certification course in copywriting.

You see, I love words a little too much; especially the ability to play with them while infusing all the creativity one can muster. I love to write and believe strongly that I can make an interesting thing out of writing copies for business growth.

Now that I have brought my 'lazy-blogging-behind' back to the art I love, I am hoping that you'll stick with me as I bare my thoughts and musings. I know you'd probably be wondering if I will not up and disappear again, but I promise not to. Not now. Not again.

And yeah, did you notice I have changed the URL of my blog? I thought this one conveyed better what I typically do here. Use words to say any and everything.

Let me get into the kitchen and make dinner.

Thanks for joining me once more and please join me everyday now as I'll be posting daily unfailingly.

Sex in a wild wild jungle!

Just when I thought I had heard of crazier things, the internet proves me wrong once again!

A man and his girlfriend in Kariba, Zimbabwe wanted to have the sex of their lives and apparently, the bed or even the floor (if they didn’t have a bed) didn’t suffice; instead they decided to explore and take the sexcapade to the jungle.

They happily engaged in the act oblivious of the hungry lion that lay and watched in annoyance the passionate act. The Lion probably watched for a long time thinking just how bold, foolish and insulting these fellows were before he leapt in wonder at the unsuspecting duo.

‘What would it be like to tear this two apart while they are out of this world in the sensation that orgasm brings’ the Lion must have thought and giggled in its head. ‘Why think? Let me just go and find out firsthand’ it must have said before jogging in earnest to the two fools making love.

THROWBACK THURSDAY: Days when we rocked the Cortina shoes!

Been away for a while trying to re-organize myself and my day job. I hope I am truly done and back to blogging for good sha!

Ehen, today as usual on this blog is Throwback Thursday where I take you back to something that trended back in the years and allow you reminisce at how far we have all come.

Today, I want to remember the bata shoe we used to wear in school then called Cortina. If you didn’t at least know about this shoe let alone owned one, then you weren’t born in or before my time. That shoe was the trending shoe for every student who wanted to look smart back in the days.

Check out polishing na! We used to polish the shoe with Kiwi polish then, put it under the sun and then shine it afterwards to get that glow and shine that made you appear like one ajebo when you got to school. Sometimes, the loads of Kiwi red polish smeared on the shoe ended up painting the white socks students wore red but no one cared so long as theirs were shining.

On Pistorius and um... death!

Who says the world isn't gradually coming to an end eh?

News of strange happenings in this country and beyond make one sit down and shiver at the ease with which people's lives end. You heard about singer Goldie's death abi? It actually came as a shock to me considering I had just viewed a picture of her and Richard Mofe-Damijo at the Grammys.

Just when the media is still filled with news on her passing, her suddenly turned up hubby and the cause of her death, Pistorius goes and kills his girlfriend. To think I had marvelled at how wonderful technology is to create an artificial limb for this dude that enables him sprint better than me who has two legs and thought him lucky... didn't know he had such a dark side!

Okay, am reading the stories on this murder and am thinking to myself that this fellow must think we are all high on something to believe he thought the pretty babe was an intruder. First, according to the international media, the girl was in her nightgown which meant she didn't just play a James Bond and sneak into his apartment prompting him to think she was an intruder. Second, what sort of intruder walks in and poses sexily unarmed giving a civilian the time to grab his gun from the holster and fire not once or twice but four times...

The journey so far

Okay, I totally have no excuse for bailing for the past weeks like I did but this is wishing that after some explanations, I may be forgiven.

You see, as the Christmas breeze was blowing all and sundry, a bit of it got to me too. Normally, I am not supposed to be ranting today without first posting some Bollywood sweetings but again, give me a pass today please.

So, I travelled with my family by road to the east for the festivities and boy did that journey rack my nerves. First and foremost, I had to wake up really early for someone who loves her sleep. Then I woke my poor baby too to prepare for the movement. All this was in a bid to hit the road on time, avoid traffic and get to Imo State earlier than normal but then again, the saying still goes 'Man proposes, God disposes'.

We set off with my hubby at the wheel and me and my little soon snoring away few hours after movement. I kept waking and sleeping back hoping each time that we may have covered a reasonable distance by the time I forced my eyes open. Imagine my suprise at 9.00am when I opened my eyes to see my hubby driving into a mechanic. We were just at Ore.

'What happened?" I asked. " The exhaust and brake pads have got issues" was hubby's response. Long story short, we spent another 2 hours, 30 minutes fixing it with those money-sucking Ore mechanics demanding cash as though we had a tree of money planted in the booth of our car. That Ore road sha! Bumps everywhere psheew!

Mummy’s Wednesday: A parent’s responsibility is for a lifetime

You know what I was thinking the other day after my chat with a friend and colleague? I got to thinking that as a parent, your responsibility to your child doesn’t end one day; it actually lasts till the day you breathe your last.

I am married but frankly, my mum still acts her part in my life. Well, maybe I don’t get to disturb her for financial assistance like I did when I lived under her roof but in many more ways, I still call on her.

There comes a time in some people’s lives when they begin to think their parents are crowding in on their spaces. They begin to feel like their parents are calling too much, expecting to be called but truth is, they have always been that way only while the child grows and becomes independent, the mother tends to still be the mother she has always been.

A male friend once complained that whenever his mother came to visit him, she keeps calling him up if he isn’t home yet by 1am. He claims he is sick and tired or her treating him like a child while he is a grown man.

Married but going ring-less

It really bugs me this commitment thing. I grew up knowing that when a man got married to a woman, the physical symbol that tells the whole world they are taken is the wedding band but recently, it seems that orientation had taken the back seat.

I also seem to notice that this trend of dumping the wedding band sometime in the marriage is applicable to the men and rarely the women. Well, correct me if am wrong.

My opinion of men who don’t wear their wedding rings is that they are unfaithful and don’t regard their spouse but again I have seen scores whose wedding rings shine like its polished everyday but they cheat like there is no tomorrow. This then begs my question today: Irrespective of a person’s lifestyle and beliefs, are they required to wear their wedding bands once they say ‘I do’?

Call me old fashioned or anything else but I am of the belief that it is a sign of respect to one’s spouse when the wedding ring is worn. It seems to say, ‘Am married and proud of it and my spouse’.

Bollywood Tuesday: Pyaar Impossible – Chasing after love(2)

Happy Tuesday folks...

Not much pleasantries today, let's just get on with it. The first part of this installment can be viewed here.

Here goes...

Abhay is glued to the spot as he stares at Alisha. She looks different but in a very good way. Maturity had done a beautiful job on her. She wore her hair in a short bob now as against the flowing hair she had years ago and she looked absolutely amazing in her very short corporate wear. Yes, he is staring at Alisha and the flood of emotions he has bottled in for years threaten to overcome him.

While he still basks in the happiness of seeing her, she suddenly goes into the building bringing his fantasy and happiness to a sudden halt. He makes to follow her but holds back. He afterwards gives in to curiosity and the need to really meet Alisha when he sees her suddenly come out again from the office to flag down a cab. He wonders what the hurry is all about but when she gets into the cab, he hops another and follows her. 

The case of the 'missing' N2.1bn from the mint

I know I have been away for a long time now trying to battle the illness that threatened to keep me from writing and in fact doing a lot of things but it is strange that upon recovery, I am again struck by a certain news about thjis country that makes me wonder when I will hear anything better.

I am sure you must have heard the story making rounds on the media about the N2.1billion that suddenly developed legs and walked out of the nation's mint. I am still trying to wrap my dizzy head around that sort of happening. If I were told that one piece of one thousand naira note disappered, I probably would have shrugged and asked for another story to be told to me but how can an amount equivalent to at least $100million just disappear like that?

This country is one where people perpetrate crimes against the entire nation but somehow walk away scot-free and in the near future appear bearing flags wishing for votes from citizens to rule in one office or the other. Yes, someone has been sent on an indefinite suspension with regards to the missing money but is that enough? When the investigations being carried out reveal a particular person behind the crime, will he be punished?