Thursday, October 21, 2010

Love and Marriage

The other day i was chatting with a friend who is about to get married. How happy i was for him that i commented on how much he must love his girl.

He looked at me like i was nuts and replied, " Abeg free me o... i no love anybody jor. i wan marry becos age no dey person side again." Can you imagine that?

He was marrying someone he did not love. Surprising as it sounds, a lot of people out there are settling for less. Some for looks, majority for money and some others just to be married.

Here i am thinking of the implications of marrying someone you do not love. this is just my thoughts oh.... everyone else is entitled to what they think.

these are the implications i can think of:

1. Infidelity

2. Hatred

3. Violence

4. Indifference

Okay, let me break it down for ya.

Infidelity: Everyone wants to love and be loved back. But if a man or woman marries someone they don't love, chances are they will seek the love elsewhere.

That is the reason you sometimes see women who have been married for years cheating on their husbands. As for men, pardon me but these days you don't even know if its love they are searching for outside their homes or something else.

You must not be crazy in love with someone before you marry them. you can have a certain amount of love for them and then compensate with respect, care and passion but love's gotta be there.

Hatred: This point is somehow linked to infidelity in that some people end up hating that man/woman they married when they have gotten love from elsewhere.

Violence: Tell me you have not heard of a woman beating up her husband! My dear, it happens o.... Men beating up their wives is kinda stale news because we see and hear that almost on daily basis. Violence in marriage is really bad. it affects the psyche of the kids.

I for one don't believe that a man or woman should hit their spouse. No matter what they may have done, it is unjustifiable. I don't know about you but pardon my choice of words, i despise any man who can lift a finger against a woman, same goes to a woman who can do that to a man though the latter sounds rather funny to me.

Indifference: Now, when a woman does not love her husband she tends not to care how he looks, what he eats,who he hangs with and generally how he lives. Same with when a man does not love his wife. They are indifferent to what ever is going on in each other's lives but this is not meant to be so considering that when joined together as man and wife they became one, so whichever way one cares for him/herself should be equally the way they should care for their spouse.

You know, whenever i see a couple that love themselves passionately i admire them. i know no marriage is a bed of roses but then, somehow try not to make it a bed of thorns either.

Before saying "I DO", what are those things one should consider? I trust different people should have different considerations. Please do share.
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