Living together before marriage… Good or Bad?

Getting married is a huge step for anyone even though sometimes the huge step gets retraced in a divorce but does co-habiting before the union help in preventing divorce?

I have read in many online forums about the merits and demerits of living together with an intended spouse before marriage.

While very many people are for co-habiting before marriage, some others are totally against it. Lots of people believe living with someone you intend to marry before the marriage will help check for compatibility. The argument raged on that it is better to check if one is sexually, physically and emotionally compatible with his/her intended rather than get into the marriage only to realize that they are two poles apart.

An online article even vehemently opposed the idea stating that it could in fact be one of the causes of divorce. How so? I don’t know.

Let me share some comments I got from NairaLand on the topic in question.

A certain person said  ‘How in GODS name, am i supposed to study my wife to be, if we dont spend quality time together? Even sex takes getting used to, cos the more you do it, the more you discover better ways of satisfying each other. What happens if you keep sex away till the wedding night, and discover after the weddind that the both of you are not sexually compatible? Away mathc will start eh? Ah dont wanna cheat on ma wife so i better start TASTING now!... I don talk my own.’

Another admitted to trying it and confessed it worked very well;  but didn’t hesitate to let people know that it may not work for them as it worked for her.

Some other fellow said that many young men do not know that their intended wife cannot cook and are very dirty and lazy but can have the chance of knowing that and making a decision by co-habiting before marriage.

A young man made sure to let people know the biblical position on cohabiting saying, ‘It’s biblically wrong but it gives both parties d opportunity to know each other inside out. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, remember. If the couple hav bn having pre-marital sex,then there is no big deal but if they hav decided not to hav sex b4 marriage,living together is not advisable.different strokes for different folks.’

Lots of views were aired but majority stood for cohabiting before marriage.

I am a Christian and truthfully, the bible is against premarital sex but when you think of it, does co-habiting increase the chances of avoiding marital mistakes?

A lady made a funny but interesting point. She said, ‘No, it's not right. Cohabiting also does not increase the likelihood of marriage. I don't support such, and I will not be a party to such. Why do people liken girls to cars, anyway? Okay, I'll humour y'all for a brief moment. Any girl that allows herself to be 'test-driven' by different riders, all in the name of 'I am studying you' is on her own. Little by little, she is getting more mileage.... And we all know what happens to cars with high mileages....
Ok, enough! A girl is not a car! Kapish? She is a human, fearfully and wonderfully made. Made to be a tower and not a swinging door any man can walk through.’

Now, I want to throw it to you. What is your opinion on cohabitation before marriage? Will living together bring to light characters that can help in making informed decision on the choice of a life partner?  If God asked to abstain from premarital sex, wouldn’t he then help make the right decision on the choice of a spouse without an option of cohabiting? Must every couple who cohabit have sex? What happens if after a long time of cohabiting, there is no marriage?

Share your thoughts people!